Wednesday, August 11, 2010, 11:45 PM Cape Town Time- My Dorm (LBG)

            Today was decent. It started off really great. I found out that this alumni organization from my old high school is going to cosponsor a scholarship program I want to start. The program will be called the Lost Count Scholarship Fund (LCSF) and the organization is called Whitney Young Dolphins Making a Difference (WYDMAD). I'm really excited about the possibilities for the program and that I'll be able to see a dream of mine since I left the city come to fruition.

            Class today was pretty standard. I have a different professor in my history class now. He is White South African. I don't know if it's the time period we've run into or just his emphasis but today I felt like we really didn't talk about Black people except in passing. Perhaps I'm just being sensitive but in a lot of ways it reminded me of the way history was taught to me in high school and elementary school. Ah well.

Had the cipher today also. I could only stay for a short period of time but it was good. It's great to have a weekly space to stay sharp with it. I know I get rusty at times being at Vandy and I feel myself getting more dexterous off the top of my head every week here. I also notice people have a tendency to kind of focus on me when I rhyme. I don't know if it's because I'm American or because I have a distinctive flow or what. Who knows?

Today I volunteered at the youth prison for the first time. It was pretty fun. Most of the boys were Coloured and spoke Afrikaans. We played some games and by the end they really got into it and became more cooperative. It was a good time. They were the youngest group. I think they were around 13 or 14.

Makes me think about the things I can do back home to help as well. From trying to start this fund to volunteering to just helping young men with their college applications. I feel called to help young people, especially young men of color.

"if it comes a time and you aint feelin ya real dad, put my face on his body"

-jay-z

peace,

nate

Tuesday, August 10, 2010, 11:59 PM Cape Town Time- My Dorm (LBG)

            First thing first I want to thank everybody who voted for Daily Lyrical Product in the RedEye Track-Off.  We won! We'll be in the RedEye on Thursday so if you're in Chicago definitely cop that. I was really touched that my friends and supporters were able to rally back and get the victory. So thanks.

            Today in my history tutorial we discussed the Natives' Land Act of 1913 that took a lot of land from Black Africans. We talked about if there should be reparations given to the people. Oh, you gotta love a good reparations talk. The tutor brought up the similarities between the South African and American questions of reparations but I was quick to point out a few key differences (time elapsed, size of population, miscegenation, etc.). It was an interesting topic and conversation.

            In my African Literature class we talked about the question of language in African literature. We discussed Franz Fanon and his chapter  "the Negro and Language." The whole question of whether an African could legitimately write in a colonial language (English, French, etc.) was an interesting one to me. I think it's because as a Black American poet I am preoccupied with language and its ramifications and I know that at some points I do feel that English, or at least standard English, is inadequate to express some things in my writing. Additionally, I've had the conversation with some other Black writers and I've found that iambic pentameter is very hard for me to grasp. As a kid I always did really well on vocabulary quizzes EXCEPT the part where we had to pick the syllable with the stress. Black English in America has a tendency to be more fluid than that rigid system so it never occurred to me that the stress HAD to rest at a particular place. That's one of the things you notice in rap, is that words change emphasis to fit a scheme or even an accent. Our language is dexterous to a fault. Iambic pentameter is supposed to mimic the pacing of actual speech but I think for Black folks it does the exact opposite. Not to say that I haven't done good work in it and there haven't been plenty Blacks who have been great traditionalists in the European sense (Brooks, Wheatley, and others). I just think that naturally our language has different patterns.

            My mama also called me today. It was a good call. I talked to her about my plans for the rest of undergrad and afterwards. She seems cool with it all. She asked me about where I was thinking of going to school for my Ph.D. I told her Northwestern was high on my list. Then she started talking to me about how her and my father are a lot more comfortable when I'm not in Chicago. She says the city is so dangerous and random now that it's better we're not around. On one level I feel her but I really feel like part of my calling in life is to reverse that trend. I talk so much mess about how Chicago is the greatest city in the world and it would be a terrible thing for me to gain so much from the city without reinvesting in it. I'm not saying that I alone can or will save the city, but it will take people with the will to do so to really affect change for our people back home.

"every interview i'm representing you, making you proud"

-kanye west

peace,

nate

Monday, August 9, 2010, 11:30 PM Cape Town Time- My Dorm (LBG)

Today we went on a township tour. This was pretty interesting. The concept of the tour at all is kind of crazy to me. It's kind of like if foreigners and rich people wanted to take tours through Englewood or Roseland. Weird. Anyway it was cool. We went to a community center and the kids played the drums for us. We took pictures outside the center and a few other places and each time people from the community (mostly kids) hopped into the picture with us. It was kind of funny but a little odd.

We went through a few different townships, both coloured and black. It was crazy to see the difference in the places. Even though they would border each other, some of the black and coloured townships were just totally different. The coloured townships were always a little nicer and had streets that were wider (though they weren't in great condition either). I am glad that we got to see the differences between the way resources were allotted in that system though.

We ate at a place in a black township called Gugulethu. The place was really good and it was a bed & breakfast. The man who ran it had a really interesting story about how he literally built the place from the ground up. His business partner who was a white guy seemed a little sketchy to me. The way he characterized the community and everything was a little too idealistic but I suppose it was that good for him because he was there as a result of a capitalist venture and not because a racist system forced him to be.

We saw some monuments in the townships as well for various freedom fighters. Those were cool but it was a little weird how they were kind of just in the midst of things, like one was right in front of a gas station. I don't know.

We didn't have class today because it was Women's Day also. Other than that tour I just relaxed some. It was a good day. Some things to think about.

Also I'm in this Track-Off thing for the Chicago RedEye. Hopefully my group (Daily Lyrical Product) will get the win. We'll see in about 7 hours. Damn time difference.

"so let me be your tour guide, so when you in a certain area you will know what that hood ride"

-d.a. smart

 

(this quote is from a classic Chicago gangsta hip-hop song called "walk wit me". this is like the audio version of a Chi version of a township tour. check it.)

 

peace,

nate

Monday, August 9, 2010, 2:36 AM Cape Town Time- My Dorm (LBG)

Today was pretty good. Finished this book called Matigari for my African Literature class. The book definitely went hard a bit on American and European influence in Africa, which is fair. I really dug it though. The author was Kenyan and in the front of the book he wrote a note for the American version of the book. He was in exile in America but he was sure to make clear that the book was originally written in his mother tongue. The decision to write the book in that language was a very political one to him rather than simply writing in a more universal colonial language. At the time of the note the book was banned in Kenya and he talked about the sad irony that the book and its author were in exile from homeland.

Other than that I didn't do much. Had some pretty good sushi. Wrote a ton of stuff for my personal use and also talked a lot to people back home. I wrote a bit of a manifesto on how to revamp and improve the Black Student Alliance at Vanderbilt. I'll keep refining that and submit my ideas eventually. I think I've realized why I manage to be such a productive person. I tend to procrastinate by doing things of worth so instead of doing homework I don't watch TV but I write poems to publish or make plans. I try to make most of my time work for me. I think that's an important thing to do in life. Even your entertainment should enrich you on some level I think.

no quote…just listen to the song "why is that" by boogie down productions. the whole thing.

peace,

nate  

Sunday, August 8, 2010, 1:00 AM Cape Town Time- My Dorm (LBG)

Today went by pretty fast. Went to the library to check out a book for class. When I went I walked from my dorm to campus. It was actually kind of comforting to me to walk around alone and to watch people the same ways that I do back home. Seeing people live is the most beautiful thing to me.

After the library I went to a café and then hung out at my dorm. I went to see the movie Inception with some friends. That movie is so crazy. It was good but it made me think about the way so many things in our life that we consider so real (coughracecough) are constructed by other people for their personal devices. Not saying that I think it's necessarily that heinous or deliberate (though the creation of race as a rationalization for slavery/colonialism was) but it does make you consider some things.

That was really most of my day. Got an email from Kevin Coval which made my day. Also talked to my young homie Sebastian from Nashville. Talking to both of them made me think about where I've been as a writer and where I'm going and the work in both of those places. Sebastian especially really makes me think. Whenever we talk he always is so hungry for information on how to take himself to the next level as a writer, performer, and scholar. I think that's what it takes. That desire to improve and to make impactful work is really half the battle. The other half is what Coval says. It's about ignoring the fallacy of the genius and the muse and doing the work of telling stories and of writing.

"im not the best to do it, i just do it the best"

-punchline

peace,

nate

ps.

Vote for "Fool" by Daily Lyrical Product to win today's Chicago RedEye "Track-Off"! Thanks! http://www.chicagonow.com/blogs/kyles-files/

 

Saturday, August 7, 2010, 3:42 AM Cape Town Time- My Dorm (LBG)

So I'll start today's post with what I did last night. I watched the movie School Daze with a friend. It had a few effects on me. First off seeing the movie made me reminisce to the first time I watched it with my line brothers. Ha. Memories. Seeing the stepping and the shots of the old school Kappas in the movie made me really miss my chapter and my old head frat brothers. I do look forward to taking part in the "Good Ol' Kappa Spirit" when I get back stateside.

There's also a scene in there that spoke to me where Samuel L. Jackson and his band of townie guys conflict with Laurence Fishburne's crew from Mission College. It made me think about the kind of conflict that happens between making "out" and the people back home. I really love Chicago and my hood there and I value my ability to walk through Ragtown and be greeted with warmth and respect. I always try when I'm there to not think of myself as better or above the place or people.  I just made a view different decisions and I was blessed in different ways with different opportunities. But there's one part where Jackson's character tells the college boys that "Y'all niggas just like us and you always gon' be niggas." and Fishburne tells him "You're not niggas." I'm somewhere between them. With the understanding that the usage of the word in that context was decidedly negative I don't disagree with Jackson's base point. You don't really ever transcend or overcome the set of circumstances that made you. Racial, geographical, financial, religious, everything. Regardless of where you go those things are still a part of you and had a formative influence on you. I read an article about Kevin Coval's "transformation" from Suburban jock to hip-hop poet today but I think he's a prime example. He's never not suburban and he doesn't run from it because he can't. He understands it, learns from it, peeps the good and bad of the situation, and moves from there. That's all you can do with anything that happens in your life.

The movie also made me miss my sister Jamesa because it got me to thinking about black college bands and all that. I didn't think about it when I applied to come here but because I'm here during her senior fall I'll probably never see her march with FAMU again. That actually makes me really sad. Going to all her games at Morgan Park and with FAMU was a big influence on me culturally and musically. I love black marching band music and it definitely informs my sensibilities (think about songs like "Pompous"). I miss her. I want to go to country ass Northern Florida.

Anyway, today was a pretty good day. My first lecture was canceled so we had a substitute guy who let us out after like 20 minutes. After class I studied some and then I went to the sports centre and signed up for the gym. I went back to the sports centre that evening and played pickup basketball with a bunch of guys. I was actually surprised about how closely they follow the NBA. They were as up on the goings on of the game as me and in some ways more since they didn't have a particular team that they felt the need to be tied to and they just kind of observe as a fan of the game. It was dope though.

Went to dinner with friends tonight. T'was good. Spent the night having some good conversations with folks around and then folks back home via the net. Good times.

"some of my niggas will probably never make it. the s-a-ts? shit, I doubt they ever take it, cause instead of tryna send a nigga to a tutor them guidance counselors tryna introduce us to recruiters. it's a setup."

-j. cole

peace,

nate

 

Thursday, August 5, 2010, 11:33 PM Cape Town Time- My Dorm (LBG)

Hmmm. Today was decent. Made it to my African Poetry Seminar. It was decent. He talked about oral literature and how it was prevalent in the African tradition and informed the African poets. I was actually pretty thrilled because he talked about American Rap and Jamaican dub poetry and how they borrow from and use the same elements. Needless to say it had a brother feeling all Diasporic and what not. haha.

On that subject I talked to a friend of mine and she had an idea about doing some type of forum here at UCT where African and Black American students could kind of get together and discuss the misconceptions, similarities, and differences we have. Basically we want to figure out a way to make all these smaller conversations we've been having bigger and more productive. We drew up a plan for it tonight so hopefully we'll be able to do that. She has a meeting with someone involved with the Centre for African Studies tomorrow where she's gonna present our ideas and see if we can make it all work.

Today we also had a session to prepare for working with Young in Prison. It was decent, mostly instructional about what not to wear (for women) and dos and don'ts type of stuff. I'm excited to go and work there and see how it is.  The place where I'll be working is less of a prison and more of a boys' home for young offenders without a stable home to go back to.

We also had an expectations workshop for volunteering with everybody in my study abroad group. That was kind of frustrating. I understand the "comfort" of the folks in my group to all be back together with other folks from the state and being in a room where they're the majority (haha) but some stuff they say is just ridiculous. At one point we were talking about our expectations and I heard the word ghetto tossed around one too many times in jest. Also ambitions to "take pictures with cute African babies" and such were expressed. I guess it's cool kind of since it was closed company but it just annoyed me. I just hope that those same kids are actually engaging with people other than Americans and learning to deal with people as people. Too often being a constant majority (by actual number, influence, or both) makes people feel (consciously or unconsciously) like they don't have to deal with the Other. I don't think that's a good way to live life.

"rejected by the black, not accepted by the white world"

-murs

peace,

nate